: today I had this weird little realization…
people around me – people who know me pretty well, or even people who just met me – somehow assume that I don’t really have to #work. not in the “9 to 5” sense, not in the “I’m on calls all day” sense. they assume I’m just… available. that if they want to meet, walk, talk, whatever – I can just do it, in the middle of the day, because apparently I’m this guy who doesn’t have much to do. and I get this a lot.
and at first it felt a bit unfair. like: hey, do you really think I’m doing nothing all day?
but then… no. actually… it says something nice about me.
because the truth is, I do have a lot of #work. maybe even more than others. I have so many jobs, so many roles. projects, deadlines, things to fix, things to build. sometimes I don’t even know if what I’m doing is still “work”, or already a hobby, or just helping people because I like it.
my life isn’t built around office hours – it’s built around my own system. this big, weird system that I’m trying to run. I slip my tasks between the rest of my day. I spread them out, I shift them around. I don’t sit from 9 till 5 in one place, staring at a screen. I #work in pieces, in waves, in gaps. and I have this skill of instantly changing my whole plan for the day when something explodes – turning a quiet morning into a packed day and still somehow managing it. it’s not a talent, it’s something I taught myself.
and when people see me living like this, they probably think “oh, he must not have much to do.”
but the truth is the opposite – I just learned to work while living. and live while working. I guess.
and yes, I get stressed. but it’s not the “I won’t finish this” kind of stress. it’s the “how the hell do I fit all of this into one day?” kind of stress. or maybe better: “how do I mix these tasks, delay the right ones, move things around so the day still works?”. because my brain is always half-in my work anyway. even when I’m doing something else, part of me is already solving the next problem in the background.
and that’s the funny part.
their assumption looks wrong, but it actually proves something good: I’m managing this weird life pretty well (even if I’m constantly searching for a better system to handle my tasks and projects). my days don’t look like workdays, but my work gets done. my head helps me. it keeps turning, connecting things, solving problems quietly in the background.
so yeah, it’s strange. but also… nice. it means I built a life where work doesn’t look like work from the outside. and maybe that’s something to be proud of.
