Tag: body

Monday, 19.01.2026

: I’ve started new classes. A new place, a completely new space, a new teacher. Everything is new. New movements, a lot of . And it’s hard. Really hard.

Most of the time I don’t feel great there. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong — not just with my , but also with remembering the . I miss steps, I get lost, I react too late. What’s interesting is that I’m not even that self-conscious anymore. I was much worse a year or two ago. Still, it hurts. I’m . Not angry — frustrated.

In my regular classes, with teachers I know well, I learned how to hide . I know my tricks. Here, with someone new, I can’t hide anything. Everything is visible. Every error. The class is two hours long. Two full hours of with almost every movement. It’s exhausting, emotionally more than physically.

Today was the second class. And it was better. Not good — just a little better. Tiny steps. A long way ahead before I feel comfortable there, but it feels doable. That matters.

Maybe it’s actually easier not to give up because it’s so hard. I’m strange like that. If something is too easy, it doesn’t hold me for long. I need friction. I need . After these classes, are high. I’m driving home and I can feel that old pattern waking up — eating stress, eating emotions. But this time there’s a pause. Recording this, then transcribing it, gives me enough space to not buy something awful for my body.

So no, I don’t feel good after these classes. But I stay.

#body#choreography#classes#dance#emotions#frustrated#frustration#improvisation#mistakes#process#resistance#struggle#struggling
Koniec roku 2026
Koniec

Thursday, 18.12.2025

: just finished Les Mills .

my feels warm, open, alive. not exhausted – activated. like everything is in the right place. muscles awake, breath deeper, head quiet. it’s such a good moment.

there’s something very simple about this feeling. my knows it was taken care of. it knows it moved with music, with , with intention. and it answers with energy instead of tension.

i’m sitting here a few minutes after class and i feel… grateful. honestly grateful. not in a big, dramatic way. just a quiet thank you spreading through my . a warm feeling I want to capture for future me.

right now everything feels lighter. steadier. more aligned. and i’m really glad I was there.

#body#calm#core#dance#gratitude#health#movement#presence#rhythm

Monday, 15.12.2025

: today is the day! I’m going to later, and that already puts this day in a slightly different category, because today is the first day of a new . new , new sequences, a new flow that will stay with me for the next three months. it happens only four times a year, so yes – this is a small celebration.

but the reason isn’t novelty. it’s what these Les Mills choreographed classes are for me. officially they’re fitness, technically they’re training, but very quickly they stop feeling like exercise at all. I don’t count reps, I don’t think about muscles – I move. well… I . the connects everything: one transition melts into another, breath, , arms, spine, all stitched together by . after a few classes the trainer fades into the background, I know the sequence, my remembers it – and that’s when it becomes .

that’s why these three-month cycles matter so much to me. a isn’t something I use up in one class – I live in it. I come back again and again, it settles, deepens, becomes familiar, and in that familiarity there’s comfort, joy, and progress at the same time. today a new one begins, and it’s , which makes it even more special – the big class, fifty spots, always full, familiar faces I know from seeing, bodies moving together in the same internal rhythm. it reminds me of a kind of , really.

I’m on three, four, sometimes five times a week, and every time I find this quiet pocket of inside the . not work on my , but time with my . so happy about this day!

#balance#body#body balance#choreography#dance#festival#gym#les mills#monday#music

: people who visit my place almost always end up in the kitchen. not because it’s cosy. not because it’s beautiful. but because it’s the closest thing to what most homes look like. the closest thing to normal. my living room doesn’t help much — no table, no chairs, no couch. just . a carpet. the floor. #standing… or sitting down there, if you want.

for me, it’s obvious. I stand. I drink coffee . I eat . I talk . I write . my learned this rhythm so well that sitting now feels… strange. unnecessary. almost wrong.

but visitors don’t even hesitate. they walk in and aim straight for the chairs. they sink into them. collapse a little. shoulders drop, arms hang, the gives up holding itself. and suddenly I’m there, upright, — and they’re seated, resting, parked.

it’s not judgement. it’s observation. I realised I didn’t just remove . I stepped out of something they don’t even perceive as a cage.

chairs are not the problem, of course. sitting is not the enemy. it’s what sitting represents when it becomes the default — passive , automatic collapse, life lived with the switched off unless it’s forced to wake up. I know this world. I lived in it. and I don’t want to go back.

what’s interesting is the sadness. not anger. not superiority. just a quiet sadness. because I know how much better it feels on the other side — and I also know that a 30-minute visit won’t change anyone’s nervous system. and it shouldn’t. this isn’t something you explain. you just live it.

recently, though, I introduced something new. a carpet. partly for movies. partly to soften the . maybe — if I’m honest — to soften my abnormality. I used to have floor chairs. no one touched them. bean bags worked a bit better, but I could see people still struggling, never fully comfortable.

the carpet changed things. suddenly there was . room. the possibility to lie down, lean, exist without a frame. and that made me uneasy. because I don’t like shortcuts. shortcuts usually lead back to the old life.

this felt dangerously close to a couch. to creeping in quietly, pretending to be harmless. is tricky. like alcohol. it lowers the friction that usually protects my decisions. it’s often the reason we choose things we wouldn’t choose while fully awake.

but lying on the carpet at night, something surprised me. it wasn’t numbing. it wasn’t collapse. it was . my old yoga mat was narrow. disciplined. precise. the carpet feels wide. open. like my can spread out without disappearing.

maybe not all is the same. maybe some doesn’t put you to sleep — it just gives you room.

I’m watching this carefully. not solving it. not justifying it. not rushing to conclusions. I escaped a trap most people don’t even see. now I’m learning the harder part — how to allow softness without falling asleep again.

and for now… I’m still .

#awareness#body#comfort#furniture#habits#less comfortable#less-comfort#lifestyle#minimalism#presence#present#space#standing
Koniec

Thursday, 30.10.2025

: I haven’t been weighing myself lately, because I’m afraid of what I might see on the scale. so I just let it go. I try not to think about it, not to look at it. I even threw it out of my morning routine, just so I don’t accidentally see the number.

yeah, I know… but the fact that I’m writing about it probably means I’m getting ready to change that.

#body#change#fear#habits#health#progress#reflection#routine#self-awareness

: no dance today. no gym, no . well, ok – with some , I guess, because there’s a lot going on around my place lately. but at least I don’t have to go anywhere today.

I woke up with that small sore throat again – not really , maybe just enough to slow me down. maybe it’s an , maybe not. but it’s a good one – hard to argue with.

I’m sitting at ’s, eating , and for the first time in days, the world feels a bit slower. lately everything’s been moving around me – the renovation at my aunt’s house, people walking through the yard, decisions to make, things to fix, voices everywhere. I don’t mind helping, but it fills the space that used to be quiet. and I miss that quiet.

funny thing is, I like my life now. I like the rhythm I built – the dance classes, the movement, the workouts. but this other rhythm – the constant coordination, the noise – that’s not mine. and I guess my body decided to draw the line for me.

so maybe that’s what this morning is about. not skipping anything, not being lazy. just taking back a bit of stillness. remembering that I don’t have to fill every hour with effort. that silence can be part of the rhythm too.

#awareness#balance#blog#body#breakfast#calm#dance#excuse#life#rest#rhythm#rush#sick#silence

Tuesday, 21.10.2025

last tuesday’s jazz class video 

dancing

it’s tuesday again, which means another class. same , but not the same me. last week I recorded a video from the lesson – I’m posting it today. and now I’m wondering how to prepare better for tonight’s class, to get even more out of it. should I hit the first to warm up my ? or maybe an hour of roller dancing to feel the and ? or just lock myself in my home room and go through the steps until they stick? I really don’t know which would be better.

#body#choreography#dance#exercise#fitness#flow#gym#jazz#movement#music#preparation#rhythm#training#workout